August 2012
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So as I’m reading out loud to my friend 50 Shades of Grey, he tells me to read in a Morgan Freeman voice. I got to a sentence in which it read “He trailed a line of feather-soft kisses down my neck.” But instead, I accidentally slipped and replaced the word “kisses” with “penguins”. I kid you not. We laughed so hard we nearly woke everyone in the house.
I know you wanna leave me, but I refuse to let you...
How to be confident:
Step 1: Realize you are a sexy beast and own it.
Step 2: Punch any bitch in the face that tells you differently.
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Just walked into the house with 50 shades of grey and new My Little Pony figurines in the same bag. … I feel… very ashamed somehow. I probably need to shower 6 times just to wash this smut from the 3 layers of my skin.
